I Scared Mommy...I Scared...

I don't want to...I scared, Mommy

 My son, who will be 3 in September, is always saying that he's scared of this thing or that.  He's definitely on the cautious side, which is something I can personally relate to as I've always been that way.  But, being the encouraging mom that I am and wanting my son to grow up to not be afraid to take chances, whenever he comes to me and says he's scared about something, I'll acknowledge how he feels, but then tell him there's nothing to be scared of.  If it's something new he's trying, I tell him the worst that can happen is he'll try and not like it or maybe not succeed in doing it the first time and that's OK.  But, better than that, is he could really love it and have some fun!  Ultimately, in the end, at least he tried.  So, in May, I decided to take my own advice and lead by example when it came to trying something new that scared the heck out of me.  If I talked the talk, I better walk the walk.

About 6 or so months ago, I got a "Friend" request on Facebook from an area CrossFit gym.  I accepted the friend request because I had heard about the gym/owner a few years back at one of the Multiple Sclerosis walks I participated in.  Not only do they do CrossFit at the gym, but also a program of modified exercises for older people (aka SENIOR CITIZENS) or people like me with a disability who don't feel they can do regular gym-type workouts/exercise classes, which is what I think the owner was promoting at the MS Walk that day.  I proceeded to check out their Facebook page and watch the Crossfit promo video posted there, and I was VERY intrigued and my curiosity piqued to say the least. This then led to much YouTube video searching of CrossFit.  I admit it, I'm a research junkie - LOL!!!  The sort of exercises/activities that encompass CrossFit seemed really up my alley to let my "inner being" out or maybe I should say my "inner beast" - LOL.  But, this is INTENSE exercise for "elite athletes," and I'm 41 and have had Multiple Sclerosis for 9 years at this point (it'll be 10 this July) which includes really bad fatigue issues, stability/balance issues, and neuropathy in both my hands & feet.  But it was something that I just couldn't get out of my head.  So, I talked with 2 of my doctors - my physiatrist (I see her for my mobility/stability issues) and my neurologist (my overall MS care); and they both gave me their blessings/thumbs up to try it.  Part of me wasn't expecting them to agree so easily and quickly - LOL!!!  But, I had the "official" go ahead from the doctors; and the only thing stopping me at that point was ME and all my self doubts and fear.  Well, after some gentle prodding by the gym owner over the previous months, I decided I had to follow my own advice that I give my son and try it out first hand.  What's the worse that could happen..I'd fail?  I'd make an ass of myself in front of complete strangers?  Certainly not the first time for that one!!!  Of course, those times I've usually had a few drinks in me ;-)  I've now been going to CrossFit for about 6 weeks (only once, maybe twice a week right now, as I have no one to watch my son any other weekday mornings), and I am enjoying the heck out of it!!!  It's tough as hell, and I've never sweated so much in my life.  But, even in that short amount of time, I'm seeing results in me physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Due to my MS issues, I'm definitely doing modified exercises/work outs, but I just keep doing my best each and every time I'm there and I keep on improving.  What more could I really ask for?  I know it'll take me a long time to "play with the big boys and girls" so to speak, but I know I CAN DO IT.  I just have to take it one squat, one modified push up, and whatever else is thrown at me at a time.  I will say this, for a "disabled old hag" I've definitely found a new lease on life :-)  And all it took was for me to lead by example in taking my own advice and wanting to be the best role model possible for my son :-)  Isn't that what being a mom is all about anyway?

Oh, and on a side note, today's workout was the toughest yet...There's a quote by Jillian Micheals "Unless you puke, faint, or die, KEEP GOING."  I'll be honest, doing those 15-pound kettlebell swings (all 115 of them in total) really made me want to puke by the end; but I kept on going when I wanted to quit so bad...I am proud of myself for accomplishing not only all those kettlebell swings, but EVERYTHING else that was thrown at me today, which was a lot!!!

Wow, I'm having fun now that I gave it a try!!!

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness,
Krissy